Sunday, 07 March 2010
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Ugh, But Do We Have To?
I've found that when it comes to weddings, there is actually very little to do with the bride and groom. Besides the dress and the flowers and the i dos, most weddings are really all about pleasing your guests and pissing off as few people as possible. Brides often have to roll over and do things that they don't really want, or eliminate things they do really want, in order to keep the peace.
"Ugh, do we really have to have daisies? I'm not really a fan of daisies." If you want to continue speaking to your mother, you'll carry the damn daisies.
"Ugh, do we have to do the bouquet/garter toss? It's so uncomfortable." Do you want your family to look at you like a 12 headed-freak for shunning tradition? No? Then you'll let your groom stick his head up your dress for your guests' amusement, because that's much more "normal".
"Ugh, do we have to invite his obnoxious wife? We don't really get along." Yes, unfortunately you do. Sorry if she gets drunk and talks crap about you the whole night. It may be your wedding, but you don't want to offend any of your guests do you? Of course not.
"Ugh, do we have to have Aunt Laurie sing at our wedding? Her voice sounds like 1000 cats dying." If you still want to call her your aunt afterwards, she's singing at your wedding. Period.
See what I mean? Weddings are full of these "ugh, do we have to" moments.
Now, I've never been one to do things that I don't want to do because it'll "keep the peace" or "because it's the thing to do". It's just not me, yet I find myself doing just that, and I don't like it. Keeping the peace is great, but not when it forces you to be unhappy or uncomfortable. Sometimes the backlash is worth taking a stand for your beliefs and feelings.
So what is my "Ugh, do we have to?"?
It's having a wedding.
I know, the record just stopped, didn't it? It did. Sorry, my bad. But seriously...
I don't want a wedding. I know, I know, I know, you think i've been sniffing some wedding planning crazy glue, but I haven't, I promise.
In all honesty, I've been doing all of this color schemeing, guest listing, linen picking, DIY crafting because it's, you know, what people do. You fall in love, you get engaged, you plan a perfectly color coordinated wedding and you do things and invite people that you don't want there because it's the thing to do. I've become a band wagon joining, people pleasing, wedding planning doormat and it's just not me. When the hell did I become that person? F&*k if I know, but I don't like her, so she's going away.
Mr. and Miss Rainbow are not, I repeat, are not getting married. Well, let me rephrase that, we're not having a wedding. I recently had a lightbulb go off in my head that said "What the hell are you doing? You don't have to have a wedding!" So we aren't. I'm through with wedding planning for the sake of having a wedding, I'm through stressing myself out over people that aren't worth the stress, I'm through with spending massive loads of money on a big party that, to me, is pointless.
Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with having a wedding, be it small, intimate, and planned in 2 months or large, luxurious, and planned in 2 years. What I'm saying is that it's important to do what's right for you. I got steamrolled by the wedding machine and I lost sight of what is really important to me.
What's important to me is being with Mr. Rainbow, and I don't need a perfectly planned wedding to do that. I want to travel with Mr. Rainbow, I want to see and experience the world with him, I want to go on adventures, try new things, meet new people. What I don't want to do is waste any more of my life planning what is essentially one single solitary day.
When Mr. Rainbow and I get married, I don't know what it'll be like, where we'll be, or who we'll be with. Maybe our immediate families will be there, maybe not. Maybe we'll have a dinner party and spring it on everyone last minute a la Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon, or maybe it'll be just us two and we'll get married while we're traveling to Paris or Cambodia or the dozens of other places we want to go.
It might be spring, summer, fall, or winter, at city hall, on a beach, among the trees, or on top of the eiffel tower, I have no idea. All I know is that it won't be planned, it won't be stressful, and we'll make no compromizes. We won't choose colors just because we should, we won't invite people just to keep the peace, and we won't worry about what our guests (or lack thereof) think. On the day we get married, it will be about us, and us alone.
So today, I hang my hat as Miss Rainbow, and I go foreward in doing the things that matter to me- the things that make me happy, the things that remind me of what life and love is all about, and for me, that just doesn't include planning a wedding.
Thank you for all the love, support, and words of wisdom that you've given me in my time here. It's been an honor, and you're all absolutely irreplacable. Au Revoir!
Tiffany
Wednesday, 03 March 2010
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Bringing Sexy Back, Rainbow Style: Month 2
So, it's officially March and we all know what that means- check in time! We've now got exactly 7 months until the wedding, and let me just say, this month was pretty much a fail month. That's right, I've been one slackin' ass Bee.
I'm a bit disappointed in myself that I slacked off so badly this month, but -althought I don't like to make excuses- it has been an exceptionally difficult month for Mr. Rainbow and I. Let me explain.
In the past, I've never had issues with my weight- ever. It always stayed pretty much the same, and if I wanted to lose a few pounds, it was never difficult for me. But a little while ago, I started gaining weight, quickly and seemingly uncontrollably, and the worst part was that no matter what I did, it just wouldn't come off. I know my body, and I know how it works, so I had a funny feeling that there was something medically wrong with me, but A. no one would believe me and B. I had no health insurance to get my suspicions confirmed.
That was until this month. I got private health insurance a few months back, and finally got a doctor's appointment on the 2nd of February. Needless to say, my suspicions were confirmed and I was diagnosed with a shitty, albeit fortunately non life-threatening, illness. It's got a slew of crappy symptoms, one of them being that it's exceptionally easy to gain weight, but exceptionally difficult to lose it. Fabulous, just what I need before our wedding. Apparently it's just something you're born with, it can be controlled through medication, but it can never be cured. Fun, right?
Needless to say, I think I was depressed for a solid 2 weeks. I didn't want to speak to anyone, do anything, go anywhere. Every time I tried to explain anything about the illness or how I was feeling to my family, I would just sob. The thought that this thing doesn't just "go away" and that, at the ripe age of 22, I'll basically have a lifelong battle with my weight and will have to be on meds for the rest of my life really killed my will to do anything. Add that to the stress of wedding planning and recent family drama and I was basically down for the count for the rest of the month.
Anyway, I don't want to turn this into a pity party, so here we go! I present to you, my chart for the month!
Month 2- March 1, 2010:
- Pounds lost this month: 2
- Pounds lost in total: 9
- How many days I exercised this month: 7
- How many days I didn’t exercise this month: 21
- How many times I “cheated” on my diet: 5 (ack, almost as many days as I worked out!)
- How I’m fitting in my dress: Eh, getting there
- How I’m feeling: Crappy, but motivated to do better this month!
- Notes: Jillian Michaels is starting to annoy me, but her workouts are so awesome I'll just have to deal with it. Because I slacked off, I'm going to keep doing level 2 until next month. I tried Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease, it was fun, but not much of a work out. It'll probably be better at a more difficult level.
Must. Deal. With. Annoyingness. source
Could they have chosen a worse picture of her for the cover?! source
So, yes, I only worked out 7 out of 28 days. Bad Rainbow! Major suckage. On the bright side, I lost 2 pounds from doing the bare minimum, so that's good. My goal was 5 pounds a month, so add that to the 7 from last month and I'm still pretty much on track. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
And because I know you're curious, my cheats:
KFC 3 pc. Chicken Strips Meal- Because when you're depressed, sometimes you just need some damn fried chicken.
Cheeseburger and Fries- If there is ever an excuse for a big ol' burger, it's Superbowl Sunday. Don't hate.
Buffalo Wings and Chili Cheese Fries - Yes, you also saw this last month. Ugh, it's Mr. Rainbow's fault. I will try harder to control his wing urges this month
Japanese Teppanyaki- Mr. Rainbow and I went for chop-chop (that's what I call it) on Valentine's Day. I wouldn't generally consider it a cheat because the food isn't all that bad, but just based on the sheer amount of food they give you, it's definitely cheating.
Baskin Robbins Peanut Butter Chocolate Ice Cream- Holy Crap. If I have a guilty pleasure, this is it. It reminds me of being a child in Washington State and my mom taking me to Baskin Robbins in her police car (yes, my mom was a cop- not a traffic cop, a hardcore cop). Comfort food at it's yummiest.
As you see, this was not exactly my finest hour, but what can we do but move on? Which is exactly what I intend to do. This month will be better, you'll see.
Catch up on the series here:
Have you ever been thrown off your game by some unexpected circumstances? How did you deal with it? How's your resolution coming along?
Monday, 01 March 2010
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For The Love of Dahlias
I think the title says it all.
When we had originally planned to get married in May, I thought "Oh fabulous, right in the middle of spring! I can have any flower I want!" Yeah, apparently I was wrong. Granted, our original date was smack dab in the middle of peony season. Great right? I mean, what bride doesn't love peonies? So fluffily and ruffily and beautiful.
Yeah, well, whatever. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love peonies, I think they're absolutely gorgeous, but they're not my end-all-be-all wedding flower. I know some ladies would kill for their weddings to be during peony season, but I would be just as happy substituting cabbage roses for peonies.
Would you like to know what my end-all-be-all wedding flower is? That's right, the dahlia. The one damn flower that isn't available in May. Just. My. Luck. I was so obsessed with dahlias that I asked and re-asked about 4 different florists if they were 100% absolutely sure that they couldn't get dahlias in May. Much to my dismay, each and every one of them were 100% absolutely sure that they couldn't get dahlias in May. Drats.
BUT THEN!
We changed our date to October. Can I be honest with you for a minute? I was so freaking excited to postpone our wedding until October because it meant I could have dahlias. That wasn't the reason we changed it, of course (I'm not that crazy!) but it's definitely one of the perks. Shall we browse some of my lovelies?
Swoon. I love them so much, and they come in so many colors and shapes and sizes. I can't wait to carry some of these babies down the aisle.
What's your favorite flower?
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
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The Most Important Meal of the Day
Welcome back to the Rainbow Wedding Rollercoaster. Price of admission? A lot of patience, and possibly your sanity. This ride has been a doozy, people.
I'm not even going to bother reminding you about all the changes that have happened since we started planning our wedding. I'm not gonna do it. And you know why? Because that is all in the past, and this rollercoaster only goes forward. Onward I say!
So I'm sure you're wondering what the new plan is, yes? Well, here it is!
We're having a morning wedding at The Gamble Plantation, followed by an afternoon brunch at our very own loft. Done. Period. End of story.
We're going to do the brunch in a more mingley small plate style, so we won't have to worry about tables and place settings and whatnot- just a big spread of breakfasty food to graze.
We're pretty excited about this brunch business. Breakfast is by far my favorite meal of the day, and Mr. Rainbow and I occasionally like to indulge in the "breakfast for dinner" phenomenom. So, when faced with the option of having breakfast food at our wedding, it was full steam ahead.
Now, luckily, the decor in our loft is actually the same color scheme as our wedding colors, so we can still use the centerpieces that I slaved over, only they won't really be used as centerpieces but more as random decor here and there. *insert relieved Rainbow here*
And since no blog post is complete without pictures, let's check out some awesome brunch nom noms-
Are you having a morning wedding followed by a brunch? Have you ever been to one? Are those heart-shaped cinnamon rolls not the cutest thing you've ever seen?
Monday, 22 February 2010
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He's Gonna Find Out If You're Naughty Or Nice
Some women loathe lingerie. They think it's a pointless waste of money. It can take forever to put on, and in their case, it only stays on for about 30 seconds.
Other women love lingerie. They think it's vital to any special occasion- Birthday, Valentine's Day, Saturday, any day. This lingerie generally doesn't come off, but rather it... ahem... enhances the "experience", if you will.
I've found that, unless the woman is a diehard lingerie fan (or foe), her take on lingerie is generally dictated by the man she's with. What's the fun of lingerie if your SO isn't into it? It's just another pain in the ass layer to remove as far as he's concerned. And when your SO loves lingerie? Well, you're much more apt to play into it. Hell, why not? It's pretty gratifying to see the man you love stumbling over his words at the sight of you, am I right?
Considering this is a post about lingerie, I think it's obvious enough what side of the lingerie line the Rainbows are on. Yes, my friends, we are on the pro-lingerie train. We are fans, big fans. Then again, if Mr. Rainbow wasn't into it, I'd tell him too damn bad, because I am one of those diehard lingerie fans. So there!
Now, the way I see it, there are two types of lingerie- Naughty and Nice. Of course, there's lingerie of the very naughty variety as well, but I'm talking strictly sassy sexy vs. sweet sexy, vixen vs. virginal.
I'm not gonna lie, I typically go for more naughty end of the spectrum. I'm a big fan of sheer black lingerie, complete with stockings and garter belts. Yes, that's right, I pretty much go all out in the lingerie department. It plays into my love for all things girlie and dramatic, and Mr. Rainbow doesn't seem to mind.
Although my lingerie meter generally points toward "vixen," I'm thinking I should mix it up and go "virginal" for the wedding night/honeymoon week. I mean, look, I know I'm not fooling anyone with this innocence charade, but I really like the idea of sticking with the more traditional sweet sexy "bridal style" lingerie, even though it's not my usual go to. In the name of science, let's check out some sassy lingerie, and their sweet counterparts.
Flyaway Babydoll:
Naughty source
Nice source
Standard Babydoll:
Sassy source
Sweet source
Satin Slip:
Devilish source
Angelic source
Lingerie + Stockings:
Vixen source
Virginal source
How do you feel about lingerie- love it or loathe it? Are you going to go the sassy route, or the more traditional sweet route on your wedding night/honeymoon?
tjmbennett
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- Name: Miss Rainbow
- Birthday: 10/1/1987
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 9/17/2009
